I was 29 when I had my daughter 12 years back.

Motherhood was a very conscious choice I made. Yet if you’ll ask me today if I would go back in time and choose motherhood all over again – the answer is a No. And it has nothing to do with my daughter at all. It is about the true purpose of wanting to be a mother.

If I was not a parent, a single one in that, I would have left corporate long back and been a Producer of some arts and cultural institution. I would not be living in a gated community and perhaps somewhere in an almost run down rented home in the by-lanes of  South Bangalore. I would not have had a car and would have been happy hailing autos. 

Instead of eating carbonara and sushi in fancy restaurants I would have become the go to person to recommend the best military hotels. Instead of coughing out chunks of money on Lego sets and Manga comics I would have had some of the most beautiful teak wood antique book cases and filled them up. I would have read, o read and read.

I don’t regret being a mother. 

But what I regret is that I thought I was making a choice when I actually was conditioned. That what looked like my choice was a structured manipulation.

But the beauty eventually in all of this is, I can tell my daughter this – that I love her because she has certain values that I’m in awe of….and not because I have a duty or an obligation to love her because she has some strands of my DNA.

And this image of a vintage typewriter is a reminder for her, that, it was one of the earliest tech innovations that gave women a more secured economic sovereignty. And the Titan Edge watch on my wrist that I gifted myself on a career milestone – represents what that sovereignty feels like.

And that’s my birthday wish for her – to have the wisdom to know the distinction between choice and conditioning!